Do you often google how to change a life? Did you? It’s a new year, you can’t have many excuses, this was supposed to be your year. Now don’t go blaming a pandemic, because the topper in your class didn’t wait. They had the same pandemic. It is easy, blaming someone else is easy because it is not your fault anymore but someone else’s. You are not rich because of someone else, how convenient. You are not happy because you don’t have this or that, convenient. We all are so materialistic that our happiness depends on a thing or a degree or society’s approval and we all feel so comfortable putting the blame on that.
I wasn’t doing everything in my power even before the pandemic. The blame game does make things easy to deal with in the short run but in the long run, it just makes us a person who cannot take responsibility for our deeds. So how do we get out of the circle? How do we learn that we are an unstoppable force of nature and nobody can stop us from shining except us? We have accustomed ourselves to this habit that now we feel that it is impossible.
PSYCHOLOGICAL REASONS FOR BLAME GAME
On mornings when we wake up late, we tend to blame everyone from the stupid job to the stupid show. Life doesn’t go according to our plan but is it necessary to always blame someone or ourselves for a happening. It can merely be a coincidence or just natural. The rant and the rage will definitely not solve the problem, but it will definitely keep our minds occupied and we won’t be able to focus on simple things. Some blame themselves for each minute mistake while others blame the higher power. Blaming oneself can do more harm, one can imagine as it creams the feeling of self-doubt which further leads to the dark side. Once a person starts self-doubt it becomes second nature and the person chooses the negative side.
There are psychological reasons for that purpose. The first being the defense mechanism. By blaming we get to keep our self-esteem in our own eyes, ignoring and avoiding all our flaws. As a human tendency, it’s our natural instance to protect ourselves first. It is not wrong but we need to realize that by blaming we are only adding more problems to our plate. Another reason is it being a tool used to attack people falling into disruptive conflict resolution methods. This might not make an impact on the accused but has a negative impact on the one being accused. Another factor is our poor judgment, which makes us judge a situation poorly and react. We as humans are not very good at figuring out anyone’s behavior or even ours. We misjudge and form a false image of people.
It is easier to blame others, we don’t like responsibility we never did. As a young kid, we realized that it is easier to blame the other kid for pushing the line. We have these things engraved in our mindset and these thoughts don’t change. Our values, our beliefs didn’t change, as per the study, we have the same values we had as a seven-year-old kid. Our moral consciousness might have expanded but our will to take responsibility remains the same. Another factor that came to lie was that people simply love to lie. If one can simply, pass on the trouble to someone else why wouldn’t they? It is easy to say that you have no remembrance of an event than to elaborate and ruin your reputation.
THE WORST KIND OF BLAMING
Our moral consciousness has grown, on days when the blame game goes really wrong we end up losing sleep. It might affect relationships and friendships. It might be a small thing but it leaves marks on the relationships. The worst kind of blaming is self-blame unless you blame someone else for the crime you committed. Self-blame is of the worst kind because people end up in piles of self-doubt which further progresses to form a new face. Your self-doubt doesn’t take much time to develop into self-hatred. The condition where you take everything on yourself, even an earthquake is due to your existence. A bolt of lightning might strike a hundred kilometers away and you might say it is because of you. Self- doubt is followed by more things one can imagine.
We don’t have high tech solutions to problems but we need to find a solution for our blaming problem. One simply needs to take responsibility for the problems they created. We need to realize that pushing responsibility for our own deeds will only hit us back. Life is like a boomerang, what we throw in the air comes back to bite us, and then we will have no one because we pushed them away.